Toby's B-day party

Today we had Toby's birthday party -- abeit six weeks late (the yearly problem of Toby being born near the beginning of the Three Weeks...I am worried about the therapy bills down the road).

It being the last week in August, just about every kid in Toby's class was on vacation. So, it was a small party. Kara did a brilliant job organizing -- the theme was "Jedi Training," and thus we played "Jedi baseball," "Jedi waterballoon toss" and "Jedi watching of Star Wars Episode I." (I should say that Kara's wording was much cooler than I'm letting on.)

I admit I was stressed. We live in a community where most of Toby's friends are pretty comfortably well-off. While I tend to err on the side of being proud of our more laid-back, rough-and-tumble ways, I can't help but worry sometimes that our kids are going to take flack for being, inevitably, more or less the "poor kids." Don't get me wrong, I feel that we are immensely privileged; Kara and I both have great jobs, are able to give our kids everything we need, really know no wants, at the same time, it's hard sometimes to look around Westchester and not be a bit self-conscious. And like most anxious parents, it is often with our children that our insecurities are given free rein.

So, when only four of Toby's friends could actually make it, and the baseball didn't go so great, and I didn't really manage the balloon toss so well, and one of Toby's friends got hurt feelings and I had to try to fix things, I was pretty worried that Toby would not be having the best time. To eat, we had pizza bagels (Toby's request) and ice cream cake. And, of course, we watched (most of) Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. While the boys (and Beruria, who has discovered her inner five-year-old boy as a 2 1/2 year old girl) seemed to have a good time, I was not convinced that the party wasn't a complete dud.

I don't know exactly why Kara and I are so lucky, but when I was tucking Toby in to bed tonight, I asked him, casually, hopefully covering up my insecurities, whether he had a good time.

"Abba," he says, "you already know that this was the best birthday party EVER. Why are you asking me that?"

What a great kid.